Funny Things Kids Say (and How to Remember Them)

Funny things kids say usually come from serious logic built on a few facts. A toddler decides the store closes because it's sleepy. A 4-year-old explains that worms come up after rain so they can see the puddles. Below you'll find 40 examples of the kind of things kids say, grouped by theme, then a simple way to catch your own kid's lines before they slip away.

Funny things kids say, by theme

We wrote these examples for this guide to show the sort of lines kids come out with. They aren't quotes from real kids or submitted stories. Your own kid will beat every one of them, probably before breakfast.

Kid logic

1. "I didn't spill it. The cup let go."
2. "If I eat my peas really fast, do they still count?"
3. "We can't go to the store. It's dark, so the store is sleeping."
4. "The car stopped because it's hungry. Give it a snack."
5. "I already brushed my teeth. Yesterday."
6. "Worms come up after rain so they can see the puddles."
7. "When I'm seven, can I be the mom and you be the kid?"
8. "I'm being quiet. I'm just singing."

Bodies and bath time

9. "My foot is fizzy."
10. "My tummy is making dinosaur noises."
11. "That bruise is purple because it's sad."
12. "I don't need a bath. I'm clean on the inside."
13. "My legs are tired but my mouth still wants to talk."
14. "Where does a sneeze go after it comes out?"
15. "Can you take my hiccups out and put them in the trash?"
16. "Why does my belly button only go in?"

Animals

17. "The dog is smiling with his tail."
18. "Do fish ever get thirsty?"
19. "That bird keeps saying 'cheeseburger.'"
20. "Cows are big dogs that live outside."
21. "The spider is my friend, but he has to stay over there."
22. "Squirrels are always late. That's why they run."
23. "The cat told me she wants pancakes too."
24. "Penguins dress up because they're going to a wedding."

Grown-ups

25. "Daddy, your face is getting crumbly." (About stubble.)
26. "Did you have dinosaurs when you were little?"
27. "You have SO many birthdays."
28. "Is coffee grown-up juice?"
29. "You can't be tired. You didn't even go to school."
30. "Grandpa's arms have wrinkly sleeves."
31. "You're the boss of me, but I'm the boss of the cat."
32. "When I grow up, I'll be big and you'll be little."

Big questions

33. "Does the moon go to bed too?"
34. "Where was I before I was in your tummy?"
35. "Who was the very first mommy?"
36. "Who decided the sky should be blue?"
37. "Is tomorrow far?"
38. "How do you know you're awake?"
39. "When I'm a grown-up, will you still be my mom?"
40. "Why do I have to be me?"

Funny toddler quotes and made-up words

Toddlers say less, so their funniest lines often come down to one word said their way. Those homemade words stick in your head for good:

• "Pasghetti" for spaghetti
• "Aminal" for animal
• "Hostipal" for hospital
• "Lellow" for yellow
• "Flutterby" for butterfly
• "Lasterday" for yesterday

Write down your kid's versions as soon as you notice them. These words tend to change quietly, and one day you realize nobody in the house says "pasghetti" anymore.

Cute things kids say

Some lines make you melt more than laugh. "I saved you the biggest leaf." "You can borrow my blanket if you get scared." "I love you more than all the cereal." Write these down too. They're easy to lose because they don't make anyone laugh out loud, and they're often the ones you'll want most later.

How to capture what your kid says before you forget

Write one line in the moment with their exact words, their age and a bit of context. That's enough. You can tidy it up later, or never.

Write one line, right away

The funny line you swear you'll remember is usually gone by bedtime. Type it into your phone while they're still talking, or say it into a voice memo. One line counts. You don't need a full story.

Keep their exact words

Resist fixing the grammar. "I runned so fast my shoes got hot" loses something as "I ran so fast." Keep the mispronunciations, the made-up words and the dramatic pauses ("and THEN... the cat").

Add the age and the context

A quote without context can turn into a puzzle a year later. Add three things:

• Age: "3 years, 4 months" or just "almost 4"
• Date: so you can find it again
• Context: "in the bath," "after the dentist," "watching rain from the window"

So instead of a note that just says "crumbly face," you'd have: "Age 3, Saturday morning, touching Dad's chin: 'Daddy, your face is getting crumbly.'"

Put them all in one place

Notes scattered across three phones and a grocery receipt are hard to find later. Pick one home for them: a notebook on the counter, one running note, or a family diary. Sprout Diary works well for this, since you can post a line with the date in a few seconds and your partner or the grandparents can add the ones they hear.

Ask questions that get good answers

The best lines often show up when you ask something a little odd. "What do you think the cat dreams about?" gets more than "What did you do today?" Our list of questions to ask kids has plenty to start with, and a yearly birthday interview turns their answers into something you can compare year to year.

If you're looking for more ways to write things down without it feeling like homework, try our journal prompts for parents.

Why do kids say such funny things?

Young kids work hard to make sense of the world with the facts they have, so they build their own logic. A cloud that moves must be going somewhere, and a hungry car needs a snack.

What are some funny words kids make up?

Little kids say lots of words their own way, like "pasghetti," "aminal," "hostipal" and "lellow." Write down your kid's versions, since they usually fade without anyone noticing.

How do I remember the funny things my child says?

Write one line right away with their exact words, their age and what was happening. A note on your phone works, as long as you put them all in one place later.

What should I write down besides the quote?

Add the date, your child's age and one line of context, like "in the bath" or "after seeing a fire truck." The context makes the quote make sense years later.